Getting kids to practice also means getting parents on board. When I lived in Florida, I had a student whose name was Kevin. Kevin was in the Big Brother program. His Big brother (whose name I can’t remember) wanted to give him the gift of music, so he bought him a keyboard and paid for lessons.
Unfortunately, though Kevin attended lessons every week, he wasn’t making any progress. I drilled down into the situation.
“Hey Kevin,” I asked, “How are things going with your piano music?”
“Well,” Ms. Doreen, “I wish I could practice, but I can’t.”
“Oh really”
“Yeah, my piano is in the closet and I can’t reach it.”
I spoke to Kevin’s Big Brother. He told me that he had tried talking to Kevin’s mom, but that things were kind of tough at the house. I asked if it was likely to change, and he said not any time soon.
I have to be honest with my families. I feel it’s unethical to take money from people if their kids aren’t making progress. I explained that practice at home is a necessary part of learning to play. I told Big Brother that I loved working with Kevin and would continue to do so if he wanted me to. However, considering the situation, his time and money might be better spent on something else.
“What you are doing is wonderful,” I told Kevin’s Big Brother. “I know it means a lot to him. He told me he really looks up to you.”
They did end up moving on. I was blessed to have known them. I hope they are both doing well.
Another student of mine, Maybell, was in a different situation. She had an upright piano. A family heirloom that her mom decided would go perfectly in the kitchen. Go figure?
Did I mention that Maybell had 2 brothers, 2 sisters, and a cousin living with her? She also had two Rottweilers and a Yorkipoo. Their kitchen was like Grand Central Station. I found this out when I paid a visit to her house. (I like to do this from time to time.)
Of course, Maybell wasn’t getting much piano practicing done. She was embarrassed to play in front of her siblings, and the kitchen was way too noisy.
I spoke to Mom about either moving the piano or getting her a digital piano to keep in a quiet area. I told her that most of my students had someplace to practice that was free of distractions. I also mentioned that it was very cool to have such a family treasure. I asked her where it came from and who played it in the past.
I told her that as musicians, we need to focus. Not only that, we feel self-conscious when practicing because we don’t yet know our music well. We are also aware that practice can be annoying to others.
“I feel sorry for my brothers.” I told Maybell’s mom, “They were subject to me playing the piano for five hours a day when I was in high school. They probably rejoiced when I left for college,” I joked
Maybell’s story had a happy ending. Mom got her a Yamaha digital piano for her birthday. Problem solved…At least that problem.
Tips and Takeaways
- It is important for families to understand the importance of regular practice at home. This means access to an instrument in a place that is relatively free of distractions
- Honestly is the best policy. I have found that being honest with my students and their families goes a long way toward building trust. Even when I have lost a student because they haven’t been making progress, I have been able to keep things positive.
- Asking questions and taking the time to discover a student’s situation can be very useful in solving practice problems. Of course, this has to be done with tact and respect. I never want to come off as being a nosy know it all.
- Find something good to say at all times. Always, always, always. Practice kindness, respect, and patience. It pays off in spades.
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