Outwitted by Off-Track Eight-Year-Olds.
Back in the days when I used to travel teach, I had two students, a sister and a brother. Kimberly and Benton. They were nice kids from a nice family. They had a Yamaha digital piano in their study room where I taught them lessons and where they were supposed to be practicing.
Things started out well enough. They were making progress with their music study. Kimberly was doing much better than her brother, Benton. After a time, he wasn’t making much progress at all.
I spoke to Mom about the situation, and she swore he practiced every day.
“I hear him in there, playing for 30 minutes,” she told me.
I was younger than, I am a bit wiser now.
Benton’s downward slide continued. Week after week of Beethoven’s Ecossaise in G. Week after week, and it wasn’t getting any better. Week after week, Mom told me that he was indeed practicing.
Finally, his sister ratted him out.
“Ms. Doreen,” she said. “Benton doesn’t practice. He records himself playing his piece once, and then he comes in here, hits the playback button over and over while he reads a book!”
Ok, now I know what’s really going on. Fortunately, sister didn’t swear me to secrecy or anything like that. So, I could let Mom know and take some action.
And then there was Kumar.
He was an outstanding student. He did well in school, was highly disciplined with his practice. Every week, he came in prepared.
But on a Monday, I woke up at 3:00 am. I started thinking about Kumar. How long was he on his piece? When I thought about it, it seemed like months. “Wow,” I thought, “What’s up with Kumar?”
I needed to look into this.
I keep notes, I always have, and I always will. My in-person students have notebooks. My online students keep notes on their side. I looked back in Kumar’s notebook and realized he had been on his piece for three months.
“Kumar…you have been working on this Chopin Nocturn for 13 weeks. I don’t think you have been practicing.”
“HA!” He shouted with a smile. “I haven’t, I was wondering when you would notice.”
Yikes. He was right. I was so used to him being on task that I didn’t notice for a while. I just went with the normalcy bias. You know, believing that things always are as they are.
These two guys needed to get back on track.
Firstly, both of these guys were eight years old. Old enough to be practicing independently but not old enough to remember to do it on their own. They needed reminding. Step one was to make sure they were getting that reminder.
Step two was to ask them straight out whether or not they wanted to learn to play the piano or not.
“If I had a magic wand and I could wave and you could play anything you wanted to, would you want to? In other words, do you care about playing the piano, or is there something else you would rather be doing?”
Kumar said he absolutely wanted to play. But Benton … not so much. Benton told me he really wished he could learn guitar. He didn’t want to compete with his sister, he wanted to do something different.
“Thank you, Benton, for being honest. That’s awesome.”
“I’m sorry, Ms. Doreen, I feel really bad.” He told me
“I get it, I think you are a great kid. The piano isn’t for everyone, my mom used to try to teach me how to sew. I admire people who can do it, but it’s not for me. I’ll talk to your mom about the guitar.”
Benton’s mom was totally understanding. She switched him over to the guitar and last I heard he was doing well.
Note: Changing instruments or doing other activities works for some students and families. In other cases, parents really want their kids to continue with piano lessons.
Kumar, on the other hand, was another story. It was time for both of us to figure out how to get him back on track.
“Ok, Kumar, I appreciate that you admitted you haven’t been practicing, and I also admit that I should have noticed. It’s just that you are always so good about getting your work done that it didn’t dawn on me that you hadn’t been practicing.”
He laughed. “I’m sorry I haven’t felt like practicing lately.”
“Well, you know we have to get back on track. Right?”
“Right”
“Let’s take a look at what you are working on, maybe we should start a new fresh piece. How does that sound?”
“Great.”
Although this was over twenty years ago, I weirdly remember the piece Kumar was working. It was the Bach Minuet in G No. 2. I decided to totally change lanes and assign something a bit ‘lighter’. I gave him a choice between two pieces by William Gillock. He chose “American Folksong.” Granted, this piece was easier than the piece he had been working on, but that’s all part of my strategy to help students get back on track.
Alas, Kumar did get back on track. Not only that he stuck with the piano until he graduated from high school. He went on to major in pre-med and is now a doctor.
Tips and Takeaways
- Keep a written record of what students are working on and how long they have been working on a piece. I keep a written notebook that my students take back and forth. With online students, we each keep a notebook. I have also started putting the date a student starts working on a piece at the top of the first page.
- Go with your instinct. I had the feeling that something wasn’t quite right with both Kumar and Benton. In both cases, I waited to address the issues. Now I don’t wait, if I think something is ‘off’ I try to find out what is going on.
- The magic wand question is something I talk about a lot. If a student wants to be able to play, I know I have something to work with. If they do not have any interest in the piano, my job is much more challenging. Not impossible but challenging.
- Use kindness and humor to make a point. In Kumar’s case, he was testing me a bit. I found this was really clever and kind of endearing. We both had a good laugh over the situation.
- Be ready to change direction when necessary. That may mean scrapping a piece that we are working on and doing something new. It may mean trying a different instrument or a new activity.
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